A Farewell to Instagram
By: Julie Goldberg
After a year and a half of Her Flowers, we have finally come to the *obvious* choice to stop using Instagram to promote Her Flowers.
Yes, we know that teens, millennials, and parents all use the platform. Yes, we know it is a way of communicating with our target demographic. Yes, we should get with the times. But what is the point of getting with the times if it sacrifices your integrity and alignment with your work?
You see, both Dani and I actively dislike using social media. Since the inception of Her Flowers, Instagram quickly became something that we were using because we thought it was “right” and “acceptable” of us as social justice activists. We can’t deny the role it played in the political uprising of 2020. It did in fact bring people together, and we actually owe the creation of Her Flowers to our discussion of what was happening on Instagram.
And yet, by forcing (yes, it really did feel like forcing) ourselves to post on Instagram, we lost our authenticity and connection to the work. We spent time brainstorming and editing posts, rather than engaging in meaningful conversation among the two of us and our larger team.
Coming together to decide to pause from IG has allowed us to reconnect with what made us passionate about HF from the get-go.
What’s so bad about Instagram?
Daniela deleted all of her accounts in 2020 and I’m actively addicted to Instagram.
It all started back in 2015. I was working in a detox facility and would often work the swing shift (3 pm - 12 pm). When I came home from work, my nervous system was fried. I was tired and wanted to get to sleep at a normal hour, but the intensity of the job kept my body and mind buzzing. I started to use Instagram as a way to disconnect and distract myself from the day’s work. It was intentional numbing out. And it worked. But then, it started working a little too well.
It became a constant tool to disconnect, distract myself, and place myself flat on the couch (for the therapists reading this, it was my go-to dorsal response). And it’s been a really hard habit to break. The second I am feeling like the world is too much and I want a break, I turn towards Instagram.
Believe me, I have tried to break the habit. I have the Freedom blocking app installed on my computer, time limits on my phone, I delete the app, claim I’m going to never use it again, etc., etc. But I somehow always keep coming back to it. And, it’s always in times when I’m not taking care of myself.
I keep thinking of my relationship with Instagram as an inverse relationship; the more I take care of myself, enjoy my life, seek balance, the less time I’m on Instagram. The less I’m taking care of myself, setting healthy boundaries, getting enough sleep, the more time I want to spend on Instagram.
Instagram’s addictive nature
We’ve known about the addictiveness of social media for a long time, yet we somehow continue to ignore the obvious. In 2011, the former vice-president of use growth on Meta (formerly known as Facebook) said, “The short-term, dopamine-driven feedback loops that we have created are destroying how society works. No civil discourse, no cooperation, misinformation, mistruth.”
Nearly a decade later, the same information rings true. Frances Haugen, a former Facebook employee and whistleblower recently shared with Congress, “I’m here today because I believe Facebook’s products harm children, stoke division and weaken our democracy,” she continued, “the company’s leadership knows how to make Facebook and Instagram safer but won’t make the necessary changes.”
Ms. Haugen even suggested increasing the minimum age for any person using social media to 17 years from13 years old.
Her Flowers + Instagram
Why then are two educated, independent, smart women using a media tool that doesn’t make them feel good about themselves or the state of the world?
If our mission is to connect with teens and help them understand the world they are living in, why not start creating the world we want to see? If we know that insiders at Meta believe that the minimum use for social media should be moved to 17, why are we then producing content for a younger demographic that we don’t even want to be on Instagram?
So, as of today, we are going to practice what we preach.
As the feminist icon, Carol Hanish said, “the personal is political.” Deciding to get off Instagram is a personal choice for the two of us - not engaging with a platform that impacts our mental health - and it allows us to make a statement against an addictive app that is impacting society’s mental health at large.
In the digital age, deciding to not be on Instagram is a radical act.
What’s next
We’ll continue to share our events on Facebook so parents and community members can share them with others. We’ll send out newsletters with book reviews, blog posts, and upcoming events. But, we are no longer going to invest our precious time into an addictive medium that brings us little joy. Our resources are more valuable than that.
If you are curious to learn more about the damaging impacts of social media, I recommend checking out some of these resources. Let us know what you think and feel free to share other resources!
Recommendations:
The Daily: The Facebook Whistle Blower Testifies
I absolutely loved this episode and had to pause throughout to text friends and colleagues. It’s scary. It’s big. It’s alarming. If you are a parent of a teen or a person in the world that uses social media I cannot recommend this episode enough.
The Social Dilemma
As a therapist, this is probably my most recommended resource to parents, teens, and young adults. This impactful documentary really had me stopping to reflect and had a big impact on my cell phone usage (no phones in the bedroom, screen time limit, and much more!). The website also has great discussion guides for classrooms and families.
Freedom Website Blocker
I purchased a lifetime subscription to this website blocker after watching The Social Dilemma. I have my email, Facebook, and Instagram all blocked after 9 pm. It’s been really helpful to have an external resource to hold myself more accountable. Well worth the investment!