The Voices Behind Her Flowers: Part Two
By: Daniela E. Miranda
A couple of weeks have passed since our first post from Her Flowers group members. Thank you to all friends, family, acquaintances and strangers alike for your overwhelmingly warm and real response.
We’re back to share a second wave of thoughts from Her Flowers co-founder, Julie; two of our founding members Ava (17, Colorado) and Elina (13, California); and me, Dani.
A little more about Dani
Since 2012, I have been living in southern Spain, a country that welcomed me with community, jamón, blue skies, history lessons, and siesta. However, I am constantly reminded how US-American, or “gringa,” I am in my ways––mostly concerning eating schedules and an internalized capitalist attitude toward consumption (the constant flow of my air conditioner and stocking up at the grocery store, for example). Although my Venezuelan-inspired accent can spark the “wait, where are you from?” question, most of the time I spend my days appearing Spanish-like, but feeling very American.
Conversely, when I’m back stateside with my American community, I feel very Latina from the inside-out––due in no small part to a family-first approach to holiday planning with meals that take hours of prepping (shout out to Papi’s Cuban roast!) and my brother’s “Latin Music for the Soul” Spotify playlist.
As a teen, my parents didn’t understand that I wanted freedom to be out with my friends, and my friends didn’t understand why my parents were so strict. This caused a lot of tension throughout the years. Nowadays, my friends no longer question that we will be barbecuing at my house with my family so that we can make the most out of our time together.
I now understand that the story I tell around my identity is contextual, time-based, and ever-changing. It’s both a form of self-preservation and a way to make connections.
The more I explore who I am within the system, and how systems guide our decision-making and dictate our story, the more I am able to navigate difficult conversations and understand the state of the world: where I stand in it; who I stand for; what is wrong, and how can I work to make it right.
Our Members
As a community psychologist, I could go on and on about how the political is personal and the personal is political. It’s clear that Her Flowers has become a space for us to share our experiences; to critically think about the world around us; to build trusting relationships with one another; and to take action.
For Elina, our 13-year-old social media guru from Davis, California, she noted that “when George Floyd was murdered, that was the first time I really was old enough to realize that there was a big problem and innocent people were losing their lives because of our messed up system and our racist country.”
During Her Flowers sessions, she was able to connect with other community members that shared her passion for social justice––and wanted to find ways to take action during the pandemic. “By talking with girls my age from across the country and Canada, it was really eye-opening to see how both similar and different our experiences were.”
Julie’s experience was similar to my own: I didn’t start as young as Elina, our respective journeys still brought us to the same place.
After graduating college at 21, Julie says she “knew nothing about white privilege.” A summer stint following graduation at an urban farm in Berkley, California rapidly changed that. “Cue feelings of sadness, regret, helplessness. I was heartbroken. I felt helpless. While at Boston University, I was studying and believed in Public Health, yet I wasn’t learning about systemic oppression. Since then, I’ve made it a priority to apply a social justice lens in all the work that I do. It informs me both professionally and personally.”
Julie and I both knew what we were missing from our late start on this journey: a mix of support, a critical education lens, and exchanges with trusted peers. Instead of looking for it within our established communities, we wanted to give younger women the opportunity that was missing from our teenage years.
The Magic of an Intergenerational Group
ulie and I text on a daily basis, mostly about new ideas or logistics for Her Flowers. At some point within these exchanges, we inevitably comment on how wonderful the younger women in our group are. It’s been only two months since we began working on Her Flowers, and the co-production between us has been amazing.
I admire the young women who want to be a part of something and navigate these times with purpose. They energize me to learn, reflect, question and keep going. In Julie’s words, “It’s so amazing to see young women passionate and willing to learn about all the hard things that make us American citizens.”
Elina also feels the spark that comes from exchanging our intergenerational experiences: “It was inspiring to hear Dani and Julie’s stories and hear about their different experiences. They are so nice and you can see how passionate they both are.“
The varying perspectives that stem from both our age differences and the implied contextual underpinnings for our individual narratives is an aspect that resonates with Ava: “It is really interesting to get a perspective from women of a different age. I think this helps to bridge a gap in knowledge that may be missing. This helps to illuminate different facets of these issues that I may not consider because of my age, but others think about more.”
Looking towards the future
I daydream about the future of Her Flowers every single day. And I mean, actual daydreaming: I envision teen girls running the show.
Julie and I would be backstage, guiding their vision through our experience and knowledge while making sure that Her Flowers became theirs. I imagine this spreading across the country––girls finding strength in numbers to address issues that matter to them and their communities.
Julie shares this vision: “I'd love to see this group grow into chapters that meet across the country. Dani and I will lead the organizational component and young girls will run the meetings. It's a space for them, and most importantly run by them. I hope to continue this work for many years to come!“
According to Elina, the teen members share our enthusiasm: “I hope for it to get bigger and more girls will join...I’m excited and passionate about Her Flowers and I’m excited to see where it goes!”
Ava has identified the different components of what a space like Her Flowers can offer, “I envision Her Flowers becoming bigger and developing an educational side as well as a discursive side. I think that this original program will be a first step in creating more issue-focused discussions that could be complemented by more educational stuff.”
We are all committed to expand, connect, learn, and continue growing together within an anti-racist framework. We can’t drop the ball now.
Some final thoughts
I am finishing writing this blog post two days after one of our most exciting meetings yet. The girls decided that Her Flowers is no longer a “workshop series” as was the initial vision Julie and I had––we are now officially a GROUP! An anti-racist group for female identifying teens.
What does this mean? As Elina put it at the meeting, we’ll be adding a “Her Flowers twist” to issues that matter to us. We want to tackle different issues from an anti-racist lens.
Each of us brings a unique voice to the conversation, building on our different passions and creating a shared vision (just like the different flowers in our logo).
We are a group. We feel it. We believe in it.
Her Flowers shows the power behind passing on knowledge from one generation to the next, creating community, and taking action to ensure that the next generation of women start these necessary conversations earlier, so that they can build a better, just world.